CLOSE...YET FAR!!!

    Why does it feel like I'm so far from my partner even when we are near each other?

    Intimacy as we all know denotes the closeness between a duo. It is a sense of connectivity.
However, sometimes we don't just feel that connection even when we are near our partner.🥺

Most people think or feel the only way they can build INTIMACY is through sex….Oops, you got it wrong if you turn out to be in that sphere.

   However, while some people want to be connected with and to their partner, a part of them just don't know how to or want to.
I can testify to that.

We are often paranoid as to building intimacy due to:

1) FEAR OF REJECTION OR ABANDONMENT:

Many times, we feel if we are so open to our partner and they get to know some part of our Past, Fears, Weaknesses, Attitudes, and so on.

They might just wake up one day and utter the sentence "Let's Break Up".

2) PAST ISSUE/ABUSE:

As much as we want to be intimate, we most times get back into our shells when flashes of our past set foot in our thoughts. We just think our present partner might just be a replica of our past one.

3) FEAR OF BEING CONTROLLED:

This might sound strange to some people but I bet some people fear being Intimate because they feel their partner knowing them might lead to them succumbing to their wishes and commands( negative or positive).

As these aforementioned might look like it's enough reason to go through the path of not being intimate. Trust me, it's a path of no good. In other words, there are not enough reasons to choose not to be connected to our significant other.

There's no success without effort right?

WAYS TO BUILD INTIMACY:

1.PATIENCE: Whenever we find ourselves on the path of growing to love someone/we are already in it. The best way to build intimacy is to know the person, which should be taken at a normal rate, not fast nor too slow.

Learning to know who this person requires us to be patient and observant.  Many times, we just rush to be in love when we are yet to even know who we are sharing our hearts with.

2. OPENNESS/VULNERABILITY: We can't receive when we don't give anyways, so while knowing this person, it's best they know us too

One step at a time while having honest conversations helps build intimacy.

This person is in our life, we must make them know us. How will they know if we don't talk? And how will we know if we don't ask? COMMUNICATION it is!!!

3. RESPECT: Having the thought of "what has respect got to do with intimacy now" right?

But yes, it has a lot to do!

Respecting each other's differences makes it easy to accept who our partner is, their weaknesses, their past, and that goes a long way in building intimacy.

Let's check out :

TYPES OF INTIMACY AND HOW TO GROW THEM

Remember the first paragraph where it's written that "Intimacy doesn't only have to do with sex"?

So, here is where we talk about other types of intimacy we should share and build with our significant other.

SPIRITUAL INTIMACY:

Ever prayed or worshipped God with your partner? You want to try that this week, trust me it helps both parties to be mutually connected.

We can build this by:

i. Praying
ii. Worshipping
iii. Discussing Spiritual things etc 

EXPERIENTIAL INTIMACY:

This is the type of intimacy formed by working in unison with one's partner. It makes both parties work together as a team.

We can build this by:

i. Cooking a new meal together
ii. Traveling to a place where both parties haven't been to before.
iii. Planning and Executing a project together. etc

INTELLECTUAL INTIMACY:

This is the connection shared when both parties can think apart. It has to do with respecting the other person's opinion, voice, perspective.

It can be called the opposite of experiential Intimacy.

We know this type of intimacy is in place when you can debate on issues, entertain our partner's different ideas without feeling attacked.

We can build this by:

i. Starting conversations,  more like a debate.

ii. Taking note of differences

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY:

This is in place when you can share your thoughts, deepest fears, dreams, etc. It means you see your partner as a 'safe place'.
Both parties must do away with judgemental statements in times like this.

We can build by:

i. Talking about what disturbs our mind or ruin our day
ii. Asking questions about each other.

PHYSICAL INTIMACY:

This is shared by having a connection with the body.
It doesn't have to be sexual, it's just part of it(but should be done appropriately).

We can build by:

i. Visitations (if not married)
ii. Romance and Making Love.
iii. Having a long time to gaze at each other etc.

 MERITS THAT COMES WITH INTIMACY

1. It reduces the rate at which we are stressed. Come to think of it, how do you feel when you express yourself or talk to someone about what's bothering you? "Relaxed"  is the answer!

2. Gets Rid of Loneliness

3. Happiness: There's a deep feeling that emanates from within you when you are intimate with your partner.

4. Boosts the Immune system.

5. It enhances growth in all ramifications.

NOTE: Intimacy is built over time, it doesn't work like magic. And it's a continuous program (we ain't graduating you know right?😌)

Cheers to Intimacy!!!!!🥂
©RelationshipwithOyindamola